dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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