You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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