the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
