sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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