i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
