You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
