Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
