I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
