we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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