How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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