Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
