Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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