just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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