WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
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So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
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No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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