shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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