it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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