You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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