I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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