piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
