Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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