Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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