The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
