yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
