My hand turned me down
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
