yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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