I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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