It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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