Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
