Sry I called you an 8
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
