she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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