party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
