The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
