Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
