Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
