Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
