we're blogging at a bar
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
