Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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