You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
