So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
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I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
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Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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