i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
