that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
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After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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