I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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