He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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