there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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