So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
