I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
