PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
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90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
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I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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