I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize