Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
