So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
