i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
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I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
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I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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