I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
