i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
