imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
