is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize