so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
