I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
