great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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