I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
