We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
