Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I need a beard to bite.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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